Friday, 4 August 2017

Contraceptive Pill: Hard Pill to Swallow?

In the infamous words of R. Kelly, 'My mind's telling me, no, but my body, my body is telling me yes', in a lyric that was my experience on the pill. Also, I'll do anything to get an R. Kelly Lyric in a post. The pill is the most common contraceptive of my friends and people around me, and I've had some questionable experiences with it so wanted to voice my opinion on it.

I first went on the combined pill at Uni, with all the freedom of living away from home what better way to celebrate by pumping my body full of hormones without my mum knowing! Everyone I knew at uni was on it, and it just seemed like the sensible thing to do. So I did no research and just took any pill the Uni nurse gave me, oh 18 year old me!  I took it religiously I had an alarm on my phone, at first saw no side effects, I loved the ability to skip periods completely and was just a fresher on the pill. But I was miserable, more than miserable, I didn't want to leave my bed, I didn't want to go to uni, I didn't want to see my friends, and it was SO out of character. I'd never been a moody teen, I've always been that annoying peppy wake up with the joys of life kinda gal (VOM). I put it down to home sickness and being in a long distance relationship. As all this happened that relationship quickly broke down, SIDE NOTE: IF SOMEONE DOESN'T WANT YOU IN YOUR DARKEST TIMES THEY'RE NOT THE ONE, after that relationship, I just stopped my pill a few weeks, just cold turkey goodbye. And gradually I became a happier person again, out of my longest relationship but still happier and I didn't put two and two together still, just thought I had changed my attitude and was just getting back to normal. 

I didn't realise that it was the pill was recent, well a year ago almost I went back on the pill, I, first of all, went on the combined again, hated it again so thought I'd change it to the mini pill. The one where you don't have any periods, a life I wanted to lead SO bad also my best friend was on it, and if it's good enough for her, it's good enough for me. But I didn't like it to begin with you have to take it at the same time every day, and as a very spontaneous person that is not something I could easily commit to. If you don't take it within your three-hour time slot, it's not effective, but I tired because I thought the good would outway the bad. I was in a new relationship, and everything was good, but a few weeks into the pill I changed....massively. I felt on edge all the time and was so panicky, and my moods would SWING.  Everyone noticed it, and it was scary. I've only ever felt like.... that in my first year of uni. I finally put two and two together. I googled about my pill and found this.... 

The second two searches when starting to type in what I was feeling, both time. I booked in with the doctor to just talked it through she said that they are just side effects of being on the pill and recommended I come off and we looked into a different type. Enough was enough at this point, and I just stopped all contraception. And I am currently feeling the best I have felt within myself for a long time, so clearly it was that!! 

However, recently there has been a buzz around my girlfriends about how important contraception is, well duh, but like it's so quickly forgotten.  So I am writing this ahead of my first doctor's appointment to start my contraception journey again.... is it weird to be scared about something that is meant to ease your worries? I have done quizzes about what is the right thing for me and I am armed with questions for my nurse! I am determined to find the best method for me and head, and I would love to document it here as I think it is so important for females to know what could happen on contraceptives and not be under a rock like 18 years old me! 


Wednesday, 2 August 2017

Has growing up with romance films screwed us over?

I am writing this while sat watching the Moulin Rouge, well less watching more sat reciting word for word. I know every scene, every step and every song. This is a film that when I was younger (around 13/14), I would watch regularly... I mean on repeat. Inappropriate, maybe. At the age of 22 watching it and knowing all the worlds got me thinking has the fact I've been surrounded by romance films since a young aged shaped how much love affects me, and how much I get screwed over.

I love love. It's a problem (albeit not a massive one), my friend's joke that it's my addiction. I love all things about it, even if it's not me in it. As Ewan say's in Moulin Rouge 'above all things I believe in love'. Yes as cheesy as it is I think that all these musicals have shaped the way I view love. I expect it to be all sunshine, roses and endless trips to Paris. Perhaps the odd drama, but always a happy ending. When I have boyfriends that want to go to the pub and only get flowers out of guilt I feel as if perhaps I am doing it wrong. I compare myself to the big loves in the film. FILMS. FICTIONAL CHARACTERS. How wrong is that, but when you're young that's where perceptions come from, and mine has stuck.

I was thinking how screwed I am that I have been blinkered into this world of perfection, drama and happy endings, I mean even Shrek had a happy ending. However, maybe not. So what if films have given me high expectations of love, love one of the best feelings you can grasp, and I feel, why not have high hopes for it. Why settle for anything less, what a sad life that would be when you have to settle for something that you're not 100% up for. Let there be a start, a middle, some drama, some songs and let it be your perfect story.

I may expect a lot from love, I am crazy, I am aware but what I have learnt in the past few years is that, don't expect too much. So what if I want my (future) boyfriend to jump into song every time he see's me, that's the dream and maybe one day someone will...metaphorically of course, perhaps not even better. BUT, romance films have not screwed us over, just raised expectations. Which is always a positive.


Friday, 30 June 2017

Back @ it

You're 20's are a weird time, I've learnt this from Pinterest quotes and people surrounding me. So far I am two years into them and who would have thought so so much could change in so little time. Growing up I thought I would have my life together by 20, like marriage and houses, nope just me in my parents' house... but hey I also thought the tooth fairy was real and turned out I was wrong about both things.

I have just finished Uni (FINALLY) and I am L O S T, well not lost, but not 100% found. I didn't have a normal uni experience thanks a to a few things and I am bloody glad it's over but honestly got the t-shirt (or mortarboard) so what next. Real life? Real ADULT life????? The thought of that sends shivers through my spine. I still get ID'd to buy party poppers surely I am not able to adult. I thought that I might not be the only person in this situation and it would be nice to document the struggles and life of post-uni floating, along with other stuff.

I used to love blogging, I had a photographer boyfriend, I was a few dress sizes smaller and I has SO much free time. I was a blogging cliche and I loved it. However, alll the above has changed. I fell out of love with blogging and it's saturated world of perfection and I just did not have a loud enough voice or presence, but hey even if I am the only one that reads it, that's fine. I mean it's desperately sad but its fine (Ross Geller approved fine).

Also also, I did a tiny little re-brand of Effy's Space into A Honey Pot.  Basically, I had Effy's space for a bloody long time and it has been through some rubbish times I now want this to be a sweet place to put all my experiences and life into one place and also I bloody love bumble bees!

Hope you'll entertain the idea of my blog coming back with me for a little bit as I am rather excited about it if I do say so myself.

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